march 23 05
to make sure they get by with the holy week season, globe telecom sent an sms to their subscribers. it said, "The most meaningful trip this Holy Week is down the Way of the Cross.Take time to reflect.14 stations, 1x/day. Reply with AMEN, P2.50/msg." ha ha ha, funny.
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Mar 5, 2005
march 5 2005
im sooo happy these days that my smile reaches to my ears. i am februarys employee of the month! just 3 or 4 days ago i was blogging on how tough the competition was with unexpected teams going up on the ranks. well, we didnt make the 3 consecutive month of being on top. but we were still winners for fighting and trying our best. and im glad to say that we played the perfect game. and unexpectedly too, i emerged a winner in some way or another, for being the employee of the month for the toughest period ever. so, i just thought maybe i ought to reward myself this time.
so heres a cute reward for myself -
in my mind and in my heart, i know that the recognition i got was the very gift itself. im so thankful to God, because He gave me this gift in what He deems is the perfect time. im forgetting their words "its long over due". im sure i deserve this today more than yesterday.
im sooo happy these days that my smile reaches to my ears. i am februarys employee of the month! just 3 or 4 days ago i was blogging on how tough the competition was with unexpected teams going up on the ranks. well, we didnt make the 3 consecutive month of being on top. but we were still winners for fighting and trying our best. and im glad to say that we played the perfect game. and unexpectedly too, i emerged a winner in some way or another, for being the employee of the month for the toughest period ever. so, i just thought maybe i ought to reward myself this time.
so heres a cute reward for myself -
in my mind and in my heart, i know that the recognition i got was the very gift itself. im so thankful to God, because He gave me this gift in what He deems is the perfect time. im forgetting their words "its long over due". im sure i deserve this today more than yesterday.
Mar 1, 2005
march 1 2005
we had a bargain with GOD last week. me and kathy. just a week more of a hundred percent QA LORD and then, we could fail for the next week. and the week after that. we sure were bargaining. it took our team the titans to be the number one team for 2 consecutive months- december and january. last week, we were running 2nd for the month of february already. blame it on our team manager, kokoy, who was using words like "this is our playing field" or "never did it happen that a team garnered three consecutive months of being number 1" or "this is where we are" or "we are up/down by point..." . the ultimate and scariest thing he posted in our bulletin board. it says - "WIN or lose, WE PLAYED THE BEST GAME".Ugh. the word lose was lost in the swirling designs. so the word win was magnified 100 times! plus that smug look of kokoy. its downright scary because it seems that he really believed in us. for once in my whole stay with this company, i have never thought of doing my best, as in my best till last week. at the end of the day, we all have horrible stories of what we thought were failed calls. we were paranoid to the highest level. its stretched our patience a mile long to forced humility. we were forced to be prisoners by our very selves. hey, what else can we do? most englishmen are snotty, racist and mean. we kept ourselves humble last week by being a true runner. yeah right.
and then i got a hundred percent QA. and kathy too. i can never thank GOD enough. we were blessed as always. it paved off after all. whew... if we made it to number 1, we still dont know yet. three of our team mates failed. we sympathize with them. i know how that must have felt. but the good news is we all played the game well, regardless of what kokoy and the other people think, we played the game the best way we can. this week i intend not to entertain the least pressure from work. and i really mean it.
Feb 26, 2005
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears,
Im here nothing can harm you
my words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom
let daylight dry your tears
Im here with you, beside you to guard you to guide you...
Then say youll love me...every winter moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime
say you need me with you now and always
promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you
Let me be your shelter
let me be your light
you're safe no one will find you
your fears are far behind you...
all I want is freedom a world with no more night,
and you, always beside me to hold me, and to hide me
then say youll share with me one love, one life time
let me lead you for your solitude
say you need me with you here beside you
anywhere you go... let me go too
Christine that’s all I ask of you
Christine that’s all I ask of you
say youll share with me one love one lifetime
say the word and I will follow you..
share each day with me each night each morning
say you love me....you know I do
Love me thats all I ask of you
Dec 25, 2004
Dec 15, 2004
dec 15 04
i earned myself a shopping spree last friday for getting two weeks of hundred percent QA. i was on vacation leave too which surprisingly was granted to me by my team manager at the last minute. i was denied twice for the vacation leaves i earlier applied for which were for every fridays of december. i was crazy to even think i could file vacation leaves for the oh-so-busy month of december. but what could i do? i just needed a break and have my christmas shopping done. in an instant though, after days of worrying and finally giving in to my desperate case, a miracle was bound to happen. i was to take my remaining vacation leaves each week for this month and that would include the 2 fridays that i was denied of. ha ha, what a treat. so i got the fridays alright but have i really gotten the money to spend for the planned shopping? uh oh..
consider this: i have 12 inaanaks, most of them visits me once a year and that is at christmas day. the ritual starts when my kumares will call me over the phone and will remind me that they will drop by the house on the 25th. and it never fails. they always do.
next, my friends and colleagues in the office. less than 20. not that they are expecting gifts from me though. i just want to give something for those friends whom i have shared the year with.
and then my family- my mom and my siblings. ofcourse this has got to be special especially for my mom. i rarely give her something so i want it to be really sweet this christmas.
so that's the scenario. i see a bleak future for someone earning so little, who could not even buy something good for herself. well maybe except for the second-hand books which are real treasures anyway.
the intended shopping did not happen last friday. my sis and i just made it to the movies. we had a laughing spree with bridget jones instead.
this thursday, im looking forward to my last vacation leave for the year. good luck to me.
Dec 11, 2004
dec 10 '04
i read the last entry i wrote here and i felt disappointed with myself. writing negatively about someone who was nice enough to greet me or invite me even to her wedding besides that fact that she really doesnt know me at all, except that we attended 1 class, just one class together in college. and she did find time to talk to me. the unpopular me. i was snotty and judgemental and mean. if this is one sloppy way of apologizing, then i hope im forgiven.
i read the last entry i wrote here and i felt disappointed with myself. writing negatively about someone who was nice enough to greet me or invite me even to her wedding besides that fact that she really doesnt know me at all, except that we attended 1 class, just one class together in college. and she did find time to talk to me. the unpopular me. i was snotty and judgemental and mean. if this is one sloppy way of apologizing, then i hope im forgiven.
Dec 6, 2004
dec 6 '04
i met a school mate last friday while i was on my way home. i knew we shared one class together. one semester for one subject. when i saw her approaching, i was readying myself to smile, just to let her know that i recognize her. the funny thing was, when she saw me, she sort of put her hands to her mouth and said," uuy, kumusta ka na?!" i was quite surprised by her very bright greeting but i replied," ah, im okay". i was being questioned by a person i rarely spoke with when i was in college, not because i chose to but because we only had one class together.come to think of it, did i even speak to her in that class coz we we're numbering 50? i dont know for sure. she was firing questions that i answered promptly. saan ka na nagtratrabaho, ilang years ka na dun, may asawa ka na ba. it was a weird situation to be in. i asked her the same questions. she wasn't working anymore, got a job once but quit, and that she was getting married this december. she asked me to come to her wedding and told me the details- what day, what church, where the reception is taking place. i was thinking it was probably out of courtesy that she was mentioning all these things, but no i was wrong. when she asked me my landline number, i knew she wasnt a bit of joking. okay, fine, a wedding invitation from someone i dont even know. not even her name. hello? how weirder could it be? she was teasing me as if we were long lost friends. she was telling me that i could get lucky catching the bouquet of flowers she'll be throwing. yeah right. the thing was, i wasn't the only one who felt that the whole thing was strange. or that "she" was strange. her cousin was staring at "her" as if she's from the outer space. at last i felt the conversation was gonna end. she said, on top of it all, " anong ngang pangalan mo ulit?". "huh? ako? ah, angie. cge, alis na ko, cge.". i didnt bother asking her name. i just walked away puzzled. i couldnt take it if if it gets any bizarre than it already was.
i met a school mate last friday while i was on my way home. i knew we shared one class together. one semester for one subject. when i saw her approaching, i was readying myself to smile, just to let her know that i recognize her. the funny thing was, when she saw me, she sort of put her hands to her mouth and said," uuy, kumusta ka na?!" i was quite surprised by her very bright greeting but i replied," ah, im okay". i was being questioned by a person i rarely spoke with when i was in college, not because i chose to but because we only had one class together.come to think of it, did i even speak to her in that class coz we we're numbering 50? i dont know for sure. she was firing questions that i answered promptly. saan ka na nagtratrabaho, ilang years ka na dun, may asawa ka na ba. it was a weird situation to be in. i asked her the same questions. she wasn't working anymore, got a job once but quit, and that she was getting married this december. she asked me to come to her wedding and told me the details- what day, what church, where the reception is taking place. i was thinking it was probably out of courtesy that she was mentioning all these things, but no i was wrong. when she asked me my landline number, i knew she wasnt a bit of joking. okay, fine, a wedding invitation from someone i dont even know. not even her name. hello? how weirder could it be? she was teasing me as if we were long lost friends. she was telling me that i could get lucky catching the bouquet of flowers she'll be throwing. yeah right. the thing was, i wasn't the only one who felt that the whole thing was strange. or that "she" was strange. her cousin was staring at "her" as if she's from the outer space. at last i felt the conversation was gonna end. she said, on top of it all, " anong ngang pangalan mo ulit?". "huh? ako? ah, angie. cge, alis na ko, cge.". i didnt bother asking her name. i just walked away puzzled. i couldnt take it if if it gets any bizarre than it already was.
Nov 28, 2004
nov. 28 '04
Forgetfulness
by Billy Collins
The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read, never
even heard of,
as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.
Long ago you kissed the nine Muses goodbye and
watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,
something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.
Whatever it is you are struggling to remember it is not poised
on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.
It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall,
well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.
No wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up
the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.
Forgetfulness
by Billy Collins
The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read, never
even heard of,
as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.
Long ago you kissed the nine Muses goodbye and
watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,
something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.
Whatever it is you are struggling to remember it is not poised
on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.
It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall,
well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.
No wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up
the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.
Nov 26, 2004
nov 24 '04
i am greatly enjoying reading kerismith blog most esp her wish jar tales. the "10 things i learned from the Ya Ya's " is a great read. its all so simply laid out- the ways on living creatively.
she cites that "your life is your art". that "what we do naturally, everyday, is the greatest source". whats nice about it is that you'll be inspired and enthused to do creative things in your life. most of the time, i feel a need to read or watch something inspirational, something happy and positive. with all the sad things going on in this world or to my world, i need to unwind and loosen up a bit. its nice discovering those kind of blogs. keri's writings and artwork is simple but meaningful. you know how we are oftentimes guilty of writing to please others, or how we wanted to be someone else or to be better. she on the otherhand, has developed to just write what ever she feels is right, to be herself as much as she can. i can go all day just reading her blog and just admiring her ideas.
in the same way that i am so into anything oprahs. her shows none of which i have found boring, her choice of books - which i am collecting, (my faves are "Angela's Ashes" and "She's Come Undone". anything oprah. i sound pretty old, with what im writing but its true. i love wit plus wisdom. inspirationals. words like roses and sunsets, meadows and mountains, moon, stars, and clouds, pristine waters, white sandy beaches, majestic lakes, quiet lazy afternoons, starlit skies.
i could go on and on. i just love beautiful and happy words. i want to be happy.
i am greatly enjoying reading kerismith blog most esp her wish jar tales. the "10 things i learned from the Ya Ya's " is a great read. its all so simply laid out- the ways on living creatively.
she cites that "your life is your art". that "what we do naturally, everyday, is the greatest source". whats nice about it is that you'll be inspired and enthused to do creative things in your life. most of the time, i feel a need to read or watch something inspirational, something happy and positive. with all the sad things going on in this world or to my world, i need to unwind and loosen up a bit. its nice discovering those kind of blogs. keri's writings and artwork is simple but meaningful. you know how we are oftentimes guilty of writing to please others, or how we wanted to be someone else or to be better. she on the otherhand, has developed to just write what ever she feels is right, to be herself as much as she can. i can go all day just reading her blog and just admiring her ideas.
in the same way that i am so into anything oprahs. her shows none of which i have found boring, her choice of books - which i am collecting, (my faves are "Angela's Ashes" and "She's Come Undone". anything oprah. i sound pretty old, with what im writing but its true. i love wit plus wisdom. inspirationals. words like roses and sunsets, meadows and mountains, moon, stars, and clouds, pristine waters, white sandy beaches, majestic lakes, quiet lazy afternoons, starlit skies.
i could go on and on. i just love beautiful and happy words. i want to be happy.
Nov 21, 2004
nov 21 '04
i know in my heart that when i type the words ' i miss blogging' , that im creating my number one understatement of the year. im missin blogging and everything that comes with it especially reading my favorite blogs where they take me to their favorite blogs to their favorites' favorite and so on. its unbounded adventure. from ultra-dramatic, to ridiculously childish, from rock punk to melodramatic, from realistic to poetic. name it- students, office slaves, writers, computer geniuses, housewives, business people, sad people, happy people. there are hopefuls, suicidals, religious, atheists, insomniacs, romantics. the list goes on and on. so enough for the missin, i'm glad im back.
things happen in your life that you'll know you can never jot down. not only because you cant, but because its so many you dont how to start. now this is funny..for a boring person like me wondering how to jot "all" things down! ha ha! anyway, if you consider yourself a diarist, not a writer, mind you, you'll know what i mean. so, the diarist in me is frustrated coz things happened that i have not written. and right now is not the time to write it either. so things have passed and i have "enoughed" on missing blogging, and still, i cant stop.
STOP.
i woke up to a beautiful sunday. later, ill be out for a walk with a friend..
i know in my heart that when i type the words ' i miss blogging' , that im creating my number one understatement of the year. im missin blogging and everything that comes with it especially reading my favorite blogs where they take me to their favorite blogs to their favorites' favorite and so on. its unbounded adventure. from ultra-dramatic, to ridiculously childish, from rock punk to melodramatic, from realistic to poetic. name it- students, office slaves, writers, computer geniuses, housewives, business people, sad people, happy people. there are hopefuls, suicidals, religious, atheists, insomniacs, romantics. the list goes on and on. so enough for the missin, i'm glad im back.
things happen in your life that you'll know you can never jot down. not only because you cant, but because its so many you dont how to start. now this is funny..for a boring person like me wondering how to jot "all" things down! ha ha! anyway, if you consider yourself a diarist, not a writer, mind you, you'll know what i mean. so, the diarist in me is frustrated coz things happened that i have not written. and right now is not the time to write it either. so things have passed and i have "enoughed" on missing blogging, and still, i cant stop.
STOP.
i woke up to a beautiful sunday. later, ill be out for a walk with a friend..
Sep 29, 2004
sep 29 04
as i open the front door of our house for the first time today, i smile. maybe its the overcast sky. or the just the newborn kittens snuggled to their mother cat at the side of our house. or really just the thought of having better days ahead. i dont know maybe it comes with age, the older you get, the more you become a grateful person. and in a weeks time, ill be older. im not there yet, but there are a million things im already grateful for.
as i open the front door of our house for the first time today, i smile. maybe its the overcast sky. or the just the newborn kittens snuggled to their mother cat at the side of our house. or really just the thought of having better days ahead. i dont know maybe it comes with age, the older you get, the more you become a grateful person. and in a weeks time, ill be older. im not there yet, but there are a million things im already grateful for.
Sep 8, 2004
sep 08 '04
You are most Like A Sapphire !Dark, mysterious - but unforgettable. You have
deepbeauty. Delicate, and shy you try to stay away from
thelimelight but often your intelligence puts you in
at thedeep end. You're like a Sapphire, because, your
beauty is priceless.You're intelligent, full of opinions, and not
big-headed about it all.Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, as
you can be a bit shy.Congratulations ... You're the mysterious gem
everybody wants to have and learn more about.
?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
You are most Like A Sapphire !Dark, mysterious - but unforgettable. You have
deepbeauty. Delicate, and shy you try to stay away from
thelimelight but often your intelligence puts you in
at thedeep end. You're like a Sapphire, because, your
beauty is priceless.You're intelligent, full of opinions, and not
big-headed about it all.Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, as
you can be a bit shy.Congratulations ... You're the mysterious gem
everybody wants to have and learn more about.
?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Sep 7, 2004
***one funny poem from Billy Collins***
Litany
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.
And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.
I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.
I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine.
Sep 6, 2004
september 6, 2004
there is self imposed guilt when one neglects updating his blog. its not that everyone is eagerly waiting to read what little things are happening to your life. its the bond you formed with your blog the day you choose to have one. to jot a piece of you that you're freely flaunting the world. and by that self-imposed law, im guilty. it has always been easier to be the reader. you become an obsessed reader of blogs- from all walks of life, of various cultural, educational background. all these reading of wonderful and not-so-wonderful blogs, and at the back of your mind, you're figuring how theyd written it all up. youd either hate/love them for being so damned good writers or for being the master of all webmsters. and then your dreams are woven subtly by all this reading. "i can be like them too, maybe better." like a teenage dreamer. sometimes, i turn to be one.
Aug 19, 2004
august 19, 2004
as i grow older, i have come to appreciate and love my parents more. never mind the days when i was slapped because i didnt eat vegetables or i didnt wear the dress my mom wanted me to wear. or the times my sisters and i were fighting, kicking and boxing each other over some stupid things. or the times when we watched tv on a school day. or back in teenage days wherein i was grounded because i sneaked with my girlfriends for a gimik at greenhills. its all so subtle, the way ive come to change my view about my parents over the years. we think we know them enough when we're little. they love us, and that was all. when we finally know how immeasurable love is, or how complicated the word love is, we'll know better. there are pieces of them we dont understand. their childhood for instance. or their thoughts. their feelings. while i know my parents are not perfect, i know they tried. and that has made the difference to me- to know that they try to be the best.
**********************
here is a book that would likely decode da vinci's.
Aug 9, 2004
August 8, 2004
the one person that surprises me the most is no other than myself. sometimes we do certain things just for the heck and fun of it. well for me though, my friends has got to be the biggest part or influence. how do you deal with friends who are so fun, cool, confident and downright adventurous anyway? you become a part of them, you have connected in someway or another and made you do fun things that you were forever dreaming of doing but never had the guts to do so. so when ruchie and kira decided to walk on stage to sing, ( after a long day of work, we went to makati republic to unwind), i knew they had me going. kathy and i were roaring with laughter at first. but when kathy heard a favorite, she just ran on stage and left me strucked with surprise. i watched them three singing- ruchie looking like an all time performer doing the eyes-closing-thing while singing! while kira and kathy doing their best to sing, being the chuwariwariwaps when the moment arose. ha ha ha! they looked outrageously funny! i did not mention that the place wasnt even half filled. there were less than fifty people there so it didnt matter that I followed them on stage, grabbed the microphone with my shaking hands and sit uncomfortably on the high chair and did my best to sing insensitive and runaway! and there were a couple more songs that i sang (well i hope it did sound singing) with them. and i knew it was enough. after that, my insides were aching from laughing and yet the long exhausting day of work suddenly gone. vanished. and thats just with one night of unwinding, surprises, singing, bonding and most of all friendship.
Aug 4, 2004
august 5, 2004
sometimes i forget that time flies by so fast. it just seems yesterday when i was so "gaga" over the f4 especially jerry yan. i was getting all infos about them thru the net, joining fan groups, getting anything that has f4 logo on it, including meteor garden seasons 1 and 2, meteor rain series, their albums, vcd concerts, f4 magazines, songbooks, memorabilias- buttons, pins. name it. wallpapers. i did make albums, scrapbooks (print artist) even. it was my life that i have to be in their concerts, shouting like a loose teenager having the grandest day in her life. i even named my blog after their show, claiming that im a catcher of meteors. not to mention my sudden choice of buying bench products...oh how high school can one be.. i was known to be the f4 fanatic to my colleagues and friends. and i lived it.
now, ive missed whats going on in their lives. i havent been able to login to my groups. i do check out stardust from time to time though. its ok . i know im bound to be a forever fan though not the die-hard fan i used to be. i still love to ogle at jerry yans pix. and in doing so, i am taken back to a time where life was full of expectations, frenzy and obsession.. and i cant help but laugh.
sometimes i forget that time flies by so fast. it just seems yesterday when i was so "gaga" over the f4 especially jerry yan. i was getting all infos about them thru the net, joining fan groups, getting anything that has f4 logo on it, including meteor garden seasons 1 and 2, meteor rain series, their albums, vcd concerts, f4 magazines, songbooks, memorabilias- buttons, pins. name it. wallpapers. i did make albums, scrapbooks (print artist) even. it was my life that i have to be in their concerts, shouting like a loose teenager having the grandest day in her life. i even named my blog after their show, claiming that im a catcher of meteors. not to mention my sudden choice of buying bench products...oh how high school can one be.. i was known to be the f4 fanatic to my colleagues and friends. and i lived it.
now, ive missed whats going on in their lives. i havent been able to login to my groups. i do check out stardust from time to time though. its ok . i know im bound to be a forever fan though not the die-hard fan i used to be. i still love to ogle at jerry yans pix. and in doing so, i am taken back to a time where life was full of expectations, frenzy and obsession.. and i cant help but laugh.
Jul 28, 2004
From Twenty Poems of Love
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
Write for example: ‘The night is fractured
Write for example: ‘The night is fractured
and they shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance’
The night wind turns in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like these I held her in my arms.
I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
To think I do not have her, to feel I have lost her.
Hear the vast night, vaster without her.
Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass.
What does it matter that I could not keep her.
The night is fractured and she is not with me.
That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,
That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,
my soul is not content to have lost her.
As though to reach her, my sight looks for her.
My heart looks for her: she is not with me.
The same night whitens, in the same branches.
We, from that time, we are not the same.
I do not love her, that is certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her.
Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes.
I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her.
Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long.
Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms,
my soul is not content to have lost her.
Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,
and these are the last lines I will write for her.
Jul 27, 2004
july 25, 2004
so when my mom, for the tenth time called me to sleep, i never even bothered to shut down the computer properly. I just turned off the switch. suits him right!! ugh, and to think i choose that over reading my new book Harry Potter Book 5.. well, i figured im not lucky these days...must be the...oh well.
ive never thought of completely whacking my computer till last night. i spent almost three hours, trying to fix the layout of my blog and to my dismay, the connection was suddenly disconnected! i felt like the blood drained from my face. my fingers got so clammy. i couldnt think right. i was thinking of whacking the computer, no, of killing myself, well of whacking by body to the computer. i didnt in those three hours, even bothered to save anything. i was cursing the computer, was cursing myself. why did i blame the computer when it was me who was so stupid?! ugh!
so when my mom, for the tenth time called me to sleep, i never even bothered to shut down the computer properly. I just turned off the switch. suits him right!! ugh, and to think i choose that over reading my new book Harry Potter Book 5.. well, i figured im not lucky these days...must be the...oh well.
**********
i dont wanna whine anymore. i want peace.
Jul 22, 2004
instead of working, which i originally planned doing early today, i decided to take the day off. i was late again. and no one would ever believe the lie i have to tell our team manager. it was so lame, it was obvious that im faking it . being late yesterday due to the sudden thunderstorm was fair enough. even our team lead was late, a lot of us were. but today, the sky was clear and there was no traffic even. but i was late. the fx, which i was riding, was moving as if we were on a long country drive, sight-seeing. i was litterally in tears. worst he stopped at a gas station, looked at me smiling, and said, "mauubusan na ko ng gas". i know he sensed my frustration, but still i faked a smile. come to think of it, ive been faking a lot of things lately. well, in the end, i cried. good thing i was the only passenger left. the driver was concerned though, i think. he asked why i was sniffing. i told him, "ok lang po ko..hindi na ko bababa, pakiderecho na lang...".
right now im seated inside one of the internet shops in the mall, blogging this. i see the the light of the situation though. i havent been inside the mall lately. and well here i am. i bought some stuffs. i window-shopped, looked at potential things to buy in the future. later, ill be going in the church. so, who says im sad about the whole thing? im perfectly fine. the tardiness did me good. my worries would have to be dealt with tom.
right now im seated inside one of the internet shops in the mall, blogging this. i see the the light of the situation though. i havent been inside the mall lately. and well here i am. i bought some stuffs. i window-shopped, looked at potential things to buy in the future. later, ill be going in the church. so, who says im sad about the whole thing? im perfectly fine. the tardiness did me good. my worries would have to be dealt with tom.
Jul 9, 2004
it has got to be those fine days - this friday morning. the sky was just about to be brightened by the sunrise. its the time of the day where the most beautiful stars or planets appear. i saw the morning star Venus and it glows a luminiscent light. the first rays of the sun on the black sky. again i stood a witness to the dawn. and it was beautiful. considering the fact that i havent slept yet. not a single wink. our good friend noemi, who, just the other day, was so frustrated with office politics and was sulking to her pessimism, finally got the promotion shes been praying for. we had to celebrate. right away ofcourse. and we did. hail we marched off again to the unofficial infonxx' pub cum refuge centre to some- DIGIs CAFE.
we ate, drank, laughed, sang, talked, listened..a couple of things we as titans have grown to love doing. funny, i think this is something we hold on to, when we are strained with the long hours of work talking to bitchy, racist brits. we have invested on friendships among the wee hours of the morning. sharing funny experiences, frustrations and just about anything. and with one gone, i cant help but feel sad a little. titans would surely miss noemi, our little miss who thinks big for the team.
we ate, drank, laughed, sang, talked, listened..a couple of things we as titans have grown to love doing. funny, i think this is something we hold on to, when we are strained with the long hours of work talking to bitchy, racist brits. we have invested on friendships among the wee hours of the morning. sharing funny experiences, frustrations and just about anything. and with one gone, i cant help but feel sad a little. titans would surely miss noemi, our little miss who thinks big for the team.
here is noemi who is second from the left.
Jun 29, 2004
this is one hell of a good laugh..credits to renaissance girl.
A Rhose, By Any Other Name
By Matthew Sutherland
"A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches" --(Proverbs 22:1)
WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, one of the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since. The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom, we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, I am glad to say to lose them.
The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. "Fifty-five-year-olds with names that sound like five-year-olds", as one colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech. Here, however, no one bats an eyelid.
Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call "door-bell names". These are nicknames that sound like - well, doorbells. There are millions of them. Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly appointed chief of police has a doorbell name - Ping. None of these doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear. Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied "because my brother is called Bong". Faultless logic. Dong, of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from "dong" is a slang word for... well, perhaps talong is the best Tagalog equivalent.
Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning. The secretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the "squared" symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while.
Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy. More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are -- best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy). Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip). The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver. That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila - taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk.
Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the "composite" name. This includes names like Jejomar (for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like "Engscowani" (for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not.
And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)?
There is also a whole separate field of name games -- those where the parents have exhibited a creative sense of humor on purpose. I once had my house in London painted by a Czechoslovakian decorator by the name of Peter Peter. I could never figure out if his parents had a fantastic sense of humor or no imagination at all -- it had to be one or the other. But here in the Philippines, wonderful imagination and humor is often applied to the naming process, particularly, it seems, in the Chinese community. My favorites include Bach Johann Sebastian; Edgar Allan Pe; Jonathan Livingston Sy; Magic Chiongson, Chica Go, and my girlfriend's very own sister, Van Go. I am assured these are real people, although I've only met two of them. I hope they don't mind being mentioned here. How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names.
Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true? Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin? Where else in the world could Angel, Gigi and Mandy be grown-up men? Where else could you go through adult life unembarrassed and unassailed with a name like Mosquito, or Pepper, or Honey Boy? Where else but the Philippines!
A Rhose, By Any Other Name
By Matthew Sutherland
"A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches" --(Proverbs 22:1)
WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, one of the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since. The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom, we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, I am glad to say to lose them.
The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. "Fifty-five-year-olds with names that sound like five-year-olds", as one colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech. Here, however, no one bats an eyelid.
Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call "door-bell names". These are nicknames that sound like - well, doorbells. There are millions of them. Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly appointed chief of police has a doorbell name - Ping. None of these doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear. Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied "because my brother is called Bong". Faultless logic. Dong, of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from "dong" is a slang word for... well, perhaps talong is the best Tagalog equivalent.
Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning. The secretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the "squared" symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while.
Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy. More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are -- best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy). Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip). The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver. That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila - taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk.
Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the "composite" name. This includes names like Jejomar (for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like "Engscowani" (for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not.
And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)?
There is also a whole separate field of name games -- those where the parents have exhibited a creative sense of humor on purpose. I once had my house in London painted by a Czechoslovakian decorator by the name of Peter Peter. I could never figure out if his parents had a fantastic sense of humor or no imagination at all -- it had to be one or the other. But here in the Philippines, wonderful imagination and humor is often applied to the naming process, particularly, it seems, in the Chinese community. My favorites include Bach Johann Sebastian; Edgar Allan Pe; Jonathan Livingston Sy; Magic Chiongson, Chica Go, and my girlfriend's very own sister, Van Go. I am assured these are real people, although I've only met two of them. I hope they don't mind being mentioned here. How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names.
Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true? Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin? Where else in the world could Angel, Gigi and Mandy be grown-up men? Where else could you go through adult life unembarrassed and unassailed with a name like Mosquito, or Pepper, or Honey Boy? Where else but the Philippines!
Jun 20, 2004
Thirty Things A Woman Should Have and Know By Thirty
here is something i read from one blogger, renaissance girl:
By the time she’s thirty, every woman should have:
1. One old boyfriend she can imagine going back to and one who reminds her how far she has come.
2. Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or the man of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella she’s not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth she’s content to leave behind.
6. A past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.
7. The realization that she is actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
9. One friend who always makes her laugh, and one who lets her cry.
10. A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.
11. Eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
12. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
13. A feeling of control over her destiny.
14. A skin care regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that do not get better after thirty.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By the time she’s thirty, every woman should know:
1. How to fall in love without losing herself.
2. How she feels about having kids.
3. How to quit a job; break up with a man; and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder, and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what she would and wouldn’t want to happen next.
6. How to have a good time at a party that she’d never chose to attend.
7. How to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she’ll get it.
8. That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.
9. That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
10. What she would and wouldn’t do for love or money.
11. How to live alone, even if she doesn’t like it.
12. Who she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.
13. Where to go – be it to her best friend’s kitchen table, or a charming inn in the woods -- when her soul needs soothing.
14. What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month and a year.
15. Why they say life begins at thirty.
By the time she’s thirty, every woman should have:
1. One old boyfriend she can imagine going back to and one who reminds her how far she has come.
2. Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or the man of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella she’s not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth she’s content to leave behind.
6. A past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.
7. The realization that she is actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
9. One friend who always makes her laugh, and one who lets her cry.
10. A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.
11. Eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
12. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
13. A feeling of control over her destiny.
14. A skin care regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that do not get better after thirty.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By the time she’s thirty, every woman should know:
1. How to fall in love without losing herself.
2. How she feels about having kids.
3. How to quit a job; break up with a man; and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder, and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what she would and wouldn’t want to happen next.
6. How to have a good time at a party that she’d never chose to attend.
7. How to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she’ll get it.
8. That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.
9. That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
10. What she would and wouldn’t do for love or money.
11. How to live alone, even if she doesn’t like it.
12. Who she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.
13. Where to go – be it to her best friend’s kitchen table, or a charming inn in the woods -- when her soul needs soothing.
14. What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month and a year.
15. Why they say life begins at thirty.
Jun 14, 2004
while the whole world seems to be settling down-finding Mr. Perfect, marrying, having kids, earning money for the sole of reason of giving their family a good life, starting a totally different life from what the singles decipher to be the happy-go-lucky stage in their lives, i remain to be stucked in the singlehood of things. take these- malling...alone. watching movies....alone, well nearly, im always w/ my parents or friends. sounds super pathetic. wow, this is so not me... im so pathetic, i couldnt stand it. am i really blogging this? huh, what the heck, its true afterall. so let me just continue. you just know you're missing something when all your closest friends, are suddenly turning to be moms, carrying babies w/ them in the mall w/ a bottle of milk in hand, with their hubbies..oh how i miss my friends so much. the fun-filled days of just hanging out at ones homes, giggling at silly jokes that would eventually lead us to crying from laughing, cooking our fave pig out foods, fantasizing about some guy we like, going out of town for the fun or it. those days. sweet days. now bygones. i dont know what makes me sad. im still the same over the years. clueless. the libran, who holds the scales of indecisiveness. is it because im alone and they are not? and that they left me doing those things still? now with different friends though.. i dont know. its just sometimes, i feel some things are missing. and you're stuck to your same self 8 years ago. just like a teenager, that's what im feeling like these days. i know im in the office, becoming the professional that i am, but im trapped w/ "teenagy things". and there goes your smile. going down the drain of cheesiness, lost values, jealousy, being puppeteered, drowning in false friendships. and you just dont what happened. you dont know why..
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