Saying Goodbye

So much time has gone since my last post. I simply have forgotten how it is to write or to blog anymore. I've been on a reblog mode for most of my tumblr life, while with blogger, I've written just a few. And with that, I'm not really sure if this blog is still worth keeping. I don't know why I have felt for quite a time now, withdrawn from this blog, as if I'm seeing a friend from a long time ago and momentarily, just fondly remembering her. Well, this blog was about me, but so much less of what I have really felt and experienced. I've never really captured what my heart and mind ached for and longed for. All my fault though- too afraid to write, too critic for my own good.

This is then my goodbye to a blog I've treasured for six years. I will still be a lurker of the blogs I've linked here. Forever the reader. I'm better off that way I guess, reading and scrumptiously gulping exciting things that are happening to other people's lives. But then again, you'll never know, I might create a secret blog. Or maybe not. But cheers for the one I'm letting go- meteor catcher.

I Seek You For I Thirst

by Bukas Palad

Though many times I run from you in shame,
I lift my hands and call upon Your name
for underneath the shadow of Your wings
my melody is You.

Oh Lord I seek You for I thirst
Your mercy is the rain on the desert of my soul.

Oh Lord I raise my lifeless eyes
And see Your glory shine, how your kindness overflows.

Oh Lord Your sanctuary calls
I yearn to be with You in the rivers of Your love.

Though many times I run from you in shame
I lift my hands and call upon Your name,
for underneath the shadow of Your wings
My melody is You.

Tumblr Addict

This has taken over me. I have indulged and have possibly gotten a tumblr overdose for the past months. It magically worked (and still does!) wonders for me though, I must admit! It has kept me reflective, sensitive, inspired and hopeful of the things that touch the human spirit the most- life, love, God, relationships. It's amazing! I realize that we, regardless of our race, age or social status, have treasured almost the same sentiments about life in general. That's why when my mind can't capture what my heart feels, I'll be sure to find it blogged in tumblr by someone in the US, Singapore or Korea or in any part of the world! So, I end up reblogging what I can never put into words. Yes, I'm a self-confessed reblogger and I'm loving it! :)

While I'm busy with tumblr-ing, I am, in a way, forgetting how sad life can be sometimes. Trapped in my comfort zone, missing the bridal gene, perpetually lost and tired of putting and missing expiration dates, I feel like a damsel in distress with no one to rescue me. But words, pictures, songs and art, can be effective nurse to sad souls, you see.

It is not really hard for me to be compassionate about the people I meet or I am with. Because of all the virtues in the world, I have the most affinity with compassion. And I brag about it because it's true. I cry like I'm the one hurt when my broken-hearted friends sulk about love. I secretly weep when I pass beggars on the street. I join various causes to help & I cry a gazillion sobs every time I watch "Wish Ko Lang" for chrissakes! So, wonder where this late rant is leading to?

Well, here: If you want me to feel for you, then have the decency to tell me your story & not insult me (a compassionate-listener-fool), by commenting, "Oh no! I don't wanna end up like you". THAT has got to be the worst insult I've ever received, thank you very much! I was giving you the best advice I could think of only to be insulted in that way- you, in front of me, smiling, tackless while I staggered & grasped the reality of what I just heard. Incredible, you're effing incredible! I had to fight my sleeping bitch self to just laugh it all off. Ugh.

Thank God, it was my good-girl complex day. Otherwise, you'll see how a real bitch can be.

I am perpetually postponing every possible blogging opportunities I have in exchange for a new found love- tumblr! For almost 2 months now, I have never let a day pass without posting and reblogging cool pictures, music, videos, texts and of course, quotes, most especially quotes. I plead guilty of addiction ;)

Tumblr resembles an online scrapbook, where art is raved, almost always. I first came across a tumblr from julia and tere and overflowing. And it was all very pretty, arty and inspirational! And I love it so much I decided to create my own too. Check it out! Enjoy!

The signs of times are rushing in. I don't think I have seen our company grapple with any form of failure in almost 5 1/2 years I have stayed with them. I am part of a company that grew immensely over those period and I take pride in that.

Last May 2008, I applied for a lateral promotion and got in. I had to say goodbye to the once fun and entertaining duty of answering calls because it finally got me worn-out. The promotion was one of the best things I got for the past year.

So armed with a renewed energy to work, I was excited to learn new things and be a part again of our company's growth. In fact, I *secretly* think I have the coolest job. We answer queries, sensible or not, in the most creative and accurate way we can. Customers send us their queries via text. So the entire day we are googlers, surfing the net for answers. I can post some questions that are funny, hilarious and way too fun to answer- hopefully, in another post.

Fast forward to now. Due to a very poor planning mishap, about 3/4 of the those who are taking SMS/text were transferred back to voice account. It was a contingency plan supposedly to veer the company from the worst possible scenario- laying off workers. Luckily, I was spared, along with my 2 best buds. They had our 3 months worth of performance and stats as a basis for the rankings. It was sheer luck- on the part that they included only the last quarter of 2008 ( which, thank God, I aced in accuracy) & not the 3rd quarter (which sucks).

All I can say now is that I am one lucky girl! However I still can't hide how upset & saddened I am for the rest who went back to take voice calls. I feel for them. Duties & responsibilities are still quite easy & petiks (compared to other call centers) & their pay is pretty much the same as ours, but it can't equal the 'coolness' of surfing the net for answers to send to callers. :(

oh, well.

Another blessing for me and I am again, grateful.

I feel that I have done my best to end 2008 and start 2009 right. Before the year ended, i have amazingly made hard & responsible choices and i couldn't be prouder of myself! nakahabol din naman. And while 2008 ended on a good note, i made sure 2009 started even better- with bolder dreams & non-negotiable resolutions.

2008 has been a great year for me. If anything, it was a year of acceptance- acceptance of things past and acceptance of reality. It was not easy, especially when people special to me have fallen short of my expectations or my meaning of a friend, family or colleague. The worse kind though, was falling short of what I meant myself to be- spiritually, physically, emotionally & socially. But it was the word of the year for me, "accept".

Slowly, I am learning the positive effects of accepting life's realities- harsh or otherwise. I think, more than anything else, it helped me become happier. It's a religion of entrusting to God what you have no control of and a hope that it shall become better. And that new found philosophy did lovely wonders for me.

I'm keeping count of dreams & resolutions I'm willing to work hard for this 2009. I want so much to believe that it's not too late to dream big because for the rare times of my life, I am wanting something so much now, so purely. And while I know I can't call it a passion yet, I am positive that in time, and God willing, it'll be.


credits to http://ffffound.com for the pix

quote of the day- new year's day

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were scared to have and the decisions we waited too long to make. There comes a time in your life when you realize who matters, who doesn’t, who never did and who always will. So don’t worry about the people from your past there’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future.”