the closest i can compare to my life now is a roller coaster. its a cliche i know. if i've found a better way to compare it to, i would have used it. and because my mind now, is in its dullest state ever (yes im this honest), i remain to compare it to a roller coaster. after being hailed as the employee of the month for feb, exactly a year i was awarded the same title, i am most grateful and truly happy. grateful because someone saw me in a different light. he saw how i deeply struggled to be a performer not for myself but for the team. he learned i was not a natural, but saw how i can work around it. he believed that i felt mediocre most of the time or most of my life, yet he managed to get the best in me. and how he suddenly turned from one person i feel obligated to like to someone i truly admire and would like to listen to ( while laughing at the same time!), i sure didn't know what happened. come to think of it, i think im seeing him in a different light too. i dont know what the heck happened. these days i am so fond of getting logged out to be coached by my manager. it starts with him discussing team stats and plans and dilemmas. the next thing i know, im mouthing my ideas and opinions. he looks animated, and then drops a bit of wisdom, which leads us to saying grateful praises to each other! funny! its nice- the way everything turned out. who would have thought that i would be blogging about this. sheesh, i cant help but be mushy! i noticed that for most of my dramatic moments in this company, almost everything has something to do with him. of how i can be so meek, and rude, and angry, and quiet, and thinking, and laughing and pouting..etc. wow.
now the plunging-hurling-to-the-earth part of the roller coaster... i failed QA. a week after the EOM dinner. a week after i realized these things. i feel my blood draining, i am a dissappointment. to him, to the team, to my mini-team, to myself. i definitely hurled down faster than i can imagine. its amazing i feel sad more than angry. i have accepted and admitted it. i honestly think that all those failed calls were a few of my best calls. surprisingly, i was very helpful, patient and calm with the callers. and you know what, i ought to congratulate myself for it! really! ha ha! hindi talaga ako nahuhuli ;)
i don't intend to drown in my sadness though, because i know that roller coaster is on its way up. either way, i have realized wonderful things about myself and the people around me. now i know its better to get the best of both worlds. because both ways, i still remain a winner.
now the plunging-hurling-to-the-earth part of the roller coaster... i failed QA. a week after the EOM dinner. a week after i realized these things. i feel my blood draining, i am a dissappointment. to him, to the team, to my mini-team, to myself. i definitely hurled down faster than i can imagine. its amazing i feel sad more than angry. i have accepted and admitted it. i honestly think that all those failed calls were a few of my best calls. surprisingly, i was very helpful, patient and calm with the callers. and you know what, i ought to congratulate myself for it! really! ha ha! hindi talaga ako nahuhuli ;)
i don't intend to drown in my sadness though, because i know that roller coaster is on its way up. either way, i have realized wonderful things about myself and the people around me. now i know its better to get the best of both worlds. because both ways, i still remain a winner.