its a good thing i decided to take maundy thursday and good friday off. while my colleagues are having their grandest time working on a holiday, well that's double pay, i was at home relaxing my tired body, and soul as i may say, hoping that id have a meaningful holy week. and i did. i think i actually did. apart from all the rituals my family do every holy week- visita iglesia, stations of the cross, masses, veneration of the cross,etc., i would like to think my spirit did what it should be doing these past months. sometimes, we get caught up with so much work, with friends, with having fun, and with family even. and we think we are "that" happy, until we're home. when im lying on my bed, recollecting what happened throughout the day, i just know that there is something missing. i miss GOD. and being involved in the church. i know i messed it all up with sis rio and sis ely. we had a great goal. im forever guilty. i want to get back again with the children. and i know in time i will.

*****

come black saturday, we we're supposed to go to club manila east for a swim. i was waking everybody up at 7 when the phone rang. it was daddy.

me: hello?
daddy: hello, gigi. sunduin nyo ako mamya ha. uwi ko 2:30. nasa malaysia na ko ngayon.
me: ah, ok..sandali si mami eto na!

the club manila east had to wait. my dad was coming home. it was always like that. " anak, nasa singapore/ thailand/malaysia na ko. sunduin nyo na ko mamya... my father says this sooo casually. as in. anyway the next thing we knew, we were all in duty free, shopping as a one big family.

and we just couldnt postpone the swimming anymore. easter sunday, after the mass and moms service in the parish, we headed straight to taytay. and that was 7 pm. the place was clean, the water was clear, everybody wore a swimsuit, there was one loud music all over. we let RV ride in this big salbibida. and she was splashing the water with her hands and shouting and clapping. she was so happy, it was contagious. we all had fun last night. arriving home at 10 pm, we were so relaxed from the swim that everyone slept right away. except for me though. blame it on the movie "The Pianist".

With A Variable Key
Paul Celan

With a varible key
you unlock the house which
drifts the snow of that left unspoken.
Always what key you choose
depends on the blood that spurts
from your eye or your mouth or your ear.
You vary the key, you vary the word
that is free to drift with the flakes
what snowball will form round the word
depends on the wind that rebuffs you.

i still couldnt get over the movie, "The Passion of the Christ". annie's thought on the movie was so moving, i definitely miss our talks together. thats what i love about her, when shes so enthused about an idea and im not, she just casually shares her thoughts and then bingo, im so moved before i even know it. according to her mel gibson did used a lot of symbolisms in the film. and its amazing how he-Mel Gibson did wound up having made the best film ever about Jesus's death. Yup, the 2 of us have officially made Mel Gibson our personal choice for best director EVER!!

*******
sometimes i wonder why people end up doing silly things..
take a look at his picture:




this is the latest thing in body fashion, the Jewel Eye, in the Netherlands April 7, 2004. The eye jewel, made of platinum and available in the shape of a heart, a star or circle, is implanted in the mucous membrane of the eye and is not visible unless the eye is turned. uhmm.. i wonder how'd i look like if i have a meteor implanted in my eyes mucuos...ha ha ha..

ive just watched the movie "the Passion of the Christ". i could say that its the most authentic film made on the account of Jesus' death that ive ever seen. every scene in the movie is heart wrenching, from the agony in the garden unitl his death. and the scene that really made me cry was when Jesus, carrying His cross to Calvary, fell for the second time. there He met Mother Mary who saw how he fell. a flashback is seen interchangingly of Jesus about 4 years old, falling and a young Mother Mary running up to console his child. it was so touching and heart wrenching and made me cry so much. throughtout the film i kept saying to myself that one innocent man, suffered this whole agony- the tearing of the flesh from whipping, the spits on the face, the nailing on the cross and eventually dying. and it made me feel guilty and sorry.

here are some pictures of the movie: