i played the good daughter yeterday. i had a date with my mom and dad. arriving at the mall, we went for a snack at mcdonalds. everything was on me, i told them. my dad was just his usual self while my mom was smiling sheepishly. i wish i knew what they were thinking.
we headed straight to the movie house, not knowing what to watch. i was teasing my dad telling him we'll be watching "All my Life". he's one person i know who doesnt patronize tagalog movies. ironic i thought, for someone who laughs so hard watching home along da riles. well, the next thing i knew we were seated inside the movie house watching the movie Troy. and yes, what a movie.
after 3 hours of watching, as in really watching and no sleeping, ( my mom has a tendency to sleep for like half the movie time, but denies it and claims she enjoys every scene in the movie) , we headed straight to Mangan for dinner. scrumptious meal my dad told me, but expensive. he still prefers Kenny Rogers. oh well.
but the dinner wasnt the highlight. what we talked about or didnt talk about while eating was. my mom told me quietly that my dad was happy that we got out. ill never hear my dad say that. so when i saw the satisfied smile my father has, i couldnt agree more with my mom.
May 14, 2004
Everybody Hurts
by REM
When your day is long and the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries
and everybody hurts, sometimes ...
Sometimes everything is wrong,
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you've had too much of this life
Well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
no, no, no, you're not alone
If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much
of this life, to hang on
Well everybody hurts,
sometimes, everybody cries,
And everybody hurts ...
sometimes
But everybody hurts sometimes
So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
You're not alone
by REM
When your day is long and the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries
and everybody hurts, sometimes ...
Sometimes everything is wrong,
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (hold on)
If you think you've had too much of this life
Well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
no, no, no, you're not alone
If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much
of this life, to hang on
Well everybody hurts,
sometimes, everybody cries,
And everybody hurts ...
sometimes
But everybody hurts sometimes
So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
You're not alone
May 7, 2004
titans spirit is worn out. we are dead tired of the job. our throats are swollen. our fingertips, callused. our eyes, red from the strain of looking at the computer screen the whole day, some very little veins appearing already. not to mention that we are slowly losing everything that we have learned during our schooling days. why? the fact that we only get to say 10 english sentences everyday- welcome, how may we help you, one moment pls, have you got a street address, which town pls, and the walang kamatayang "gotcha numba!!! woh, its not even 10 sentences! we are slowly going down the drain...
so call it a God given blessing for us to finally settle for a date to go out of town- Subic, and finally get the vacation we rightfully deserve. the summer is about to end, good thing its pushing thru. this out of town thing is finally taking place, the forever planned trip. i can quite picture it, the beach, the sand, fresh air, mountains...i couldnt have been more contented. thought its only for 2 days, i know we'll be rejuvenated after.
so call it a God given blessing for us to finally settle for a date to go out of town- Subic, and finally get the vacation we rightfully deserve. the summer is about to end, good thing its pushing thru. this out of town thing is finally taking place, the forever planned trip. i can quite picture it, the beach, the sand, fresh air, mountains...i couldnt have been more contented. thought its only for 2 days, i know we'll be rejuvenated after.
May 6, 2004
Fallen Embers
by Enya
Once, as my heart remembers
All the stars were fallen embers
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you
Once, in the care of morning
In the air was all belonging
Once, when that day was dawning
I was with you
How far we are from morning?
How far we are?
The stars shining through the darkness?
Falling in the air?
Once, as the night was leaving
Into us, our dreams were weaving
Once, all dreams were worth keeping
I was with you
Once, when our hearts were singing
I was with you
******************
Pilgrim
by Enya
Pilgrim, how you journey
on the road you chose
to find out why the winds die
and where the stories go.
All days come from one day
that much you must know,
you cannot change what's over
but only where you go.
One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
another leads you only
to everything you're told.
In your heart you wonder
which of these is true;
the road that leads to nowhere,
the road that leads to you.
Will you find the answer
in all you say and do?
Will you find the answer
in you?
Each heart is a pilgrim,
each one wants to know
the reason why the winds die
and where the stories go.
Pilgrim, in your journey
you may travel far,
for prilgrim it's a long way
to find out who you are...
Pilgrim, it's a long way
to find out who you are...
Pilgrim, it's a long way
to find out who you are...
by Enya
Once, as my heart remembers
All the stars were fallen embers
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you
Once, in the care of morning
In the air was all belonging
Once, when that day was dawning
I was with you
How far we are from morning?
How far we are?
The stars shining through the darkness?
Falling in the air?
Once, as the night was leaving
Into us, our dreams were weaving
Once, all dreams were worth keeping
I was with you
Once, when our hearts were singing
I was with you
******************
Pilgrim
by Enya
Pilgrim, how you journey
on the road you chose
to find out why the winds die
and where the stories go.
All days come from one day
that much you must know,
you cannot change what's over
but only where you go.
One way leads to diamonds,
one way leads to gold,
another leads you only
to everything you're told.
In your heart you wonder
which of these is true;
the road that leads to nowhere,
the road that leads to you.
Will you find the answer
in all you say and do?
Will you find the answer
in you?
Each heart is a pilgrim,
each one wants to know
the reason why the winds die
and where the stories go.
Pilgrim, in your journey
you may travel far,
for prilgrim it's a long way
to find out who you are...
Pilgrim, it's a long way
to find out who you are...
Pilgrim, it's a long way
to find out who you are...
Apr 12, 2004
its a good thing i decided to take maundy thursday and good friday off. while my colleagues are having their grandest time working on a holiday, well that's double pay, i was at home relaxing my tired body, and soul as i may say, hoping that id have a meaningful holy week. and i did. i think i actually did. apart from all the rituals my family do every holy week- visita iglesia, stations of the cross, masses, veneration of the cross,etc., i would like to think my spirit did what it should be doing these past months. sometimes, we get caught up with so much work, with friends, with having fun, and with family even. and we think we are "that" happy, until we're home. when im lying on my bed, recollecting what happened throughout the day, i just know that there is something missing. i miss GOD. and being involved in the church. i know i messed it all up with sis rio and sis ely. we had a great goal. im forever guilty. i want to get back again with the children. and i know in time i will.
*****
come black saturday, we we're supposed to go to club manila east for a swim. i was waking everybody up at 7 when the phone rang. it was daddy.
me: hello?
daddy: hello, gigi. sunduin nyo ako mamya ha. uwi ko 2:30. nasa malaysia na ko ngayon.
me: ah, ok..sandali si mami eto na!
the club manila east had to wait. my dad was coming home. it was always like that. " anak, nasa singapore/ thailand/malaysia na ko. sunduin nyo na ko mamya... my father says this sooo casually. as in. anyway the next thing we knew, we were all in duty free, shopping as a one big family.
and we just couldnt postpone the swimming anymore. easter sunday, after the mass and moms service in the parish, we headed straight to taytay. and that was 7 pm. the place was clean, the water was clear, everybody wore a swimsuit, there was one loud music all over. we let RV ride in this big salbibida. and she was splashing the water with her hands and shouting and clapping. she was so happy, it was contagious. we all had fun last night. arriving home at 10 pm, we were so relaxed from the swim that everyone slept right away. except for me though. blame it on the movie "The Pianist".
With A Variable Key
Paul Celan
With a varible key
you unlock the house which
drifts the snow of that left unspoken.
Always what key you choose
depends on the blood that spurts
from your eye or your mouth or your ear.
You vary the key, you vary the word
that is free to drift with the flakes
what snowball will form round the word
depends on the wind that rebuffs you.
*****
come black saturday, we we're supposed to go to club manila east for a swim. i was waking everybody up at 7 when the phone rang. it was daddy.
me: hello?
daddy: hello, gigi. sunduin nyo ako mamya ha. uwi ko 2:30. nasa malaysia na ko ngayon.
me: ah, ok..sandali si mami eto na!
the club manila east had to wait. my dad was coming home. it was always like that. " anak, nasa singapore/ thailand/malaysia na ko. sunduin nyo na ko mamya... my father says this sooo casually. as in. anyway the next thing we knew, we were all in duty free, shopping as a one big family.
and we just couldnt postpone the swimming anymore. easter sunday, after the mass and moms service in the parish, we headed straight to taytay. and that was 7 pm. the place was clean, the water was clear, everybody wore a swimsuit, there was one loud music all over. we let RV ride in this big salbibida. and she was splashing the water with her hands and shouting and clapping. she was so happy, it was contagious. we all had fun last night. arriving home at 10 pm, we were so relaxed from the swim that everyone slept right away. except for me though. blame it on the movie "The Pianist".
With A Variable Key
Paul Celan
With a varible key
you unlock the house which
drifts the snow of that left unspoken.
Always what key you choose
depends on the blood that spurts
from your eye or your mouth or your ear.
You vary the key, you vary the word
that is free to drift with the flakes
what snowball will form round the word
depends on the wind that rebuffs you.
Apr 11, 2004
i still couldnt get over the movie, "The Passion of the Christ". annie's thought on the movie was so moving, i definitely miss our talks together. thats what i love about her, when shes so enthused about an idea and im not, she just casually shares her thoughts and then bingo, im so moved before i even know it. according to her mel gibson did used a lot of symbolisms in the film. and its amazing how he-Mel Gibson did wound up having made the best film ever about Jesus's death. Yup, the 2 of us have officially made Mel Gibson our personal choice for best director EVER!!
*******
sometimes i wonder why people end up doing silly things..
take a look at his picture:
this is the latest thing in body fashion, the Jewel Eye, in the Netherlands April 7, 2004. The eye jewel, made of platinum and available in the shape of a heart, a star or circle, is implanted in the mucous membrane of the eye and is not visible unless the eye is turned. uhmm.. i wonder how'd i look like if i have a meteor implanted in my eyes mucuos...ha ha ha..
*******
sometimes i wonder why people end up doing silly things..
take a look at his picture:
this is the latest thing in body fashion, the Jewel Eye, in the Netherlands April 7, 2004. The eye jewel, made of platinum and available in the shape of a heart, a star or circle, is implanted in the mucous membrane of the eye and is not visible unless the eye is turned. uhmm.. i wonder how'd i look like if i have a meteor implanted in my eyes mucuos...ha ha ha..
Apr 4, 2004
ive just watched the movie "the Passion of the Christ". i could say that its the most authentic film made on the account of Jesus' death that ive ever seen. every scene in the movie is heart wrenching, from the agony in the garden unitl his death. and the scene that really made me cry was when Jesus, carrying His cross to Calvary, fell for the second time. there He met Mother Mary who saw how he fell. a flashback is seen interchangingly of Jesus about 4 years old, falling and a young Mother Mary running up to console his child. it was so touching and heart wrenching and made me cry so much. throughtout the film i kept saying to myself that one innocent man, suffered this whole agony- the tearing of the flesh from whipping, the spits on the face, the nailing on the cross and eventually dying. and it made me feel guilty and sorry.
here are some pictures of the movie:
here are some pictures of the movie:
Mar 31, 2004
last week i got to spend two nights and three days in Baguio. that surely was what i needed for quite sometime now. the trip to baguio with two of my friends - kathy and ellize, was absolutely fun and way out of the ordinary. reasons being are the ff:
first, we get to plan for something big, real big, and make it happen barely a month after we'd even thought of it.
two, the planning part, didnt extend to getting a place to stay since none of us have contacts in baguio. so when we found our so-called-hotel for the next few days, which turned out to be really homey, thanks to manong who drove us to different "hotels", it meant that we could be thrown into wherever, and still find a way to survive..he he survivors
third, every penny spent on trip, from the time we rode the taxi to take us to the bus station up to the last tricycle ride home, was entirely ours. every single penny and bill..those were hard-earned money...answering a thousand calls everyday from crazy englishmen..
fourth, i NEVER got to perspire in baguio! and to think that all we ever did was to walk its winding streets. the whole of session road , from one ukay-ukay to another, burnham park, wright park, camp john hay, strawberry farm, name it. the 200 step to the our lady of lourdes grotto- even that, i didnt perspire. not a trickle. what else, we didnt dare go out of our house not bringing any jacket. he he he. pretty amazing for someone who perspires even when sleeping.
fifth, the fresh cool air. its the trademark of the city. can you imagine a mall without an air conditioning system? we got the shock of our lives to find a newly built SM in Baguio, nestled on top a hill, the whole back side of it is open, like a huge terrace, you could stand there and view the hillside and mountains. you guessed it, the cool air inside the mall actually comes from the outside. they let it all open to bring the cool air inside. talk about ingenuity!
sixth, the famous "wagwagan or ukay-ukay"... never thought i could buy cardigans for only P90. whew! the bad part of it was this, if you're a local tourist like us, that means you are buying your way to the city. so with all those plastic bags of souvenirs and ofcourse the jacket we cant live without, the strain is too much on the hands from going through the items that are so close together. you can barely move the hangers if you want to look at the items. its funny, with all those cheap outfits, i got to buy only three blouses.
seventh, and probably the best part, was the gimik at night. padis point was the place. and what did the three of us do? we just danced the night away! ha ha ha! funny, we did meet some guys while dancing to the tune of "where is the love" aka the theme song of the baguio girls. we were doing crazy moves and giggling like school girls, since it was our last night there. and then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by guys, who wanted to dance w/ us! ha ha! selene has captivated Patrick's heart, even "walking" us back home. it must be all the dance moves, aka, k _ s_i _ an plus the "bilbil factor" ofcourse.
there are a lot of things to say still. but i coulnt put it into words. im wishing selene did blog about our trip in baguio. its better reading someone elses blog who shared the same experiences with you. ok selene... your turn.
first, we get to plan for something big, real big, and make it happen barely a month after we'd even thought of it.
two, the planning part, didnt extend to getting a place to stay since none of us have contacts in baguio. so when we found our so-called-hotel for the next few days, which turned out to be really homey, thanks to manong who drove us to different "hotels", it meant that we could be thrown into wherever, and still find a way to survive..he he survivors
third, every penny spent on trip, from the time we rode the taxi to take us to the bus station up to the last tricycle ride home, was entirely ours. every single penny and bill..those were hard-earned money...answering a thousand calls everyday from crazy englishmen..
fourth, i NEVER got to perspire in baguio! and to think that all we ever did was to walk its winding streets. the whole of session road , from one ukay-ukay to another, burnham park, wright park, camp john hay, strawberry farm, name it. the 200 step to the our lady of lourdes grotto- even that, i didnt perspire. not a trickle. what else, we didnt dare go out of our house not bringing any jacket. he he he. pretty amazing for someone who perspires even when sleeping.
fifth, the fresh cool air. its the trademark of the city. can you imagine a mall without an air conditioning system? we got the shock of our lives to find a newly built SM in Baguio, nestled on top a hill, the whole back side of it is open, like a huge terrace, you could stand there and view the hillside and mountains. you guessed it, the cool air inside the mall actually comes from the outside. they let it all open to bring the cool air inside. talk about ingenuity!
sixth, the famous "wagwagan or ukay-ukay"... never thought i could buy cardigans for only P90. whew! the bad part of it was this, if you're a local tourist like us, that means you are buying your way to the city. so with all those plastic bags of souvenirs and ofcourse the jacket we cant live without, the strain is too much on the hands from going through the items that are so close together. you can barely move the hangers if you want to look at the items. its funny, with all those cheap outfits, i got to buy only three blouses.
seventh, and probably the best part, was the gimik at night. padis point was the place. and what did the three of us do? we just danced the night away! ha ha ha! funny, we did meet some guys while dancing to the tune of "where is the love" aka the theme song of the baguio girls. we were doing crazy moves and giggling like school girls, since it was our last night there. and then all of a sudden, we were surrounded by guys, who wanted to dance w/ us! ha ha! selene has captivated Patrick's heart, even "walking" us back home. it must be all the dance moves, aka, k _ s_i _ an plus the "bilbil factor" ofcourse.
there are a lot of things to say still. but i coulnt put it into words. im wishing selene did blog about our trip in baguio. its better reading someone elses blog who shared the same experiences with you. ok selene... your turn.
Mar 20, 2004
Mar 19, 2004
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | RV and MIGMIG
02 | joy sistahs
03 | Jackie Chan ( ok, kill me.)
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | my guitar
02 | PC
03 | my notebooks and boxes
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | people who look down on others and think of themselves highly
02 | terrorists
03 | swearing ( as if i dont swear..)
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01.l need of a person to fit in
02 | why is it hard to learn from mistakes
03 | war
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | books that are waiting to be read
02 | celphone- my company when my insomnia attacks
03 | rosary - to get me connected with GOD
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | filling this up!
02 | clicking the computer keyboard..duh!
03 | wondering if this is worth my time..
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | get closest to God
02 | have loved others sincerely
03 | to meet dao in person and be able to spend a day with him alone
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | be a better person when i choose to
02 | play the guitar w/ all intensity
03 | write songs
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | easy to please
02 | moody
03 | sensitive
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | skinny
02 | tall
03 | bow legged!! he he!!
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | swim (believe it or not!)
02 | put a background music for my blog! Grrr!
03 | slouch, as in a simple s-l-o-u-c-h!
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | to GOD ofcourse
02 | to your heart
03 | who else??
THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01 | devil
02 | to your fears
03 | BIs
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | grabe!
02 | sobra!
03 | as in!
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | laing
02 | nilagang okra
03 | ninihaw na bangus ( fine, im a certified filipino!)
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | to speak chinese, french and spanish fluently and learn the humor of every language
02 | to play the piano and compose beautiful music
03 | web design
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | coke (sorry Jerry!!)
02 | iced tea
03 | hot chocolate ( life during breaktime in the office- filling my spill proof mug w/ hot chocolate fr the vendo)
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | batibot
02 | smurf
03 | carebears
01 | RV and MIGMIG
02 | joy sistahs
03 | Jackie Chan ( ok, kill me.)
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | my guitar
02 | PC
03 | my notebooks and boxes
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | people who look down on others and think of themselves highly
02 | terrorists
03 | swearing ( as if i dont swear..)
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01.l need of a person to fit in
02 | why is it hard to learn from mistakes
03 | war
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | books that are waiting to be read
02 | celphone- my company when my insomnia attacks
03 | rosary - to get me connected with GOD
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | filling this up!
02 | clicking the computer keyboard..duh!
03 | wondering if this is worth my time..
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | get closest to God
02 | have loved others sincerely
03 | to meet dao in person and be able to spend a day with him alone
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | be a better person when i choose to
02 | play the guitar w/ all intensity
03 | write songs
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | easy to please
02 | moody
03 | sensitive
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | skinny
02 | tall
03 | bow legged!! he he!!
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | swim (believe it or not!)
02 | put a background music for my blog! Grrr!
03 | slouch, as in a simple s-l-o-u-c-h!
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | to GOD ofcourse
02 | to your heart
03 | who else??
THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01 | devil
02 | to your fears
03 | BIs
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | grabe!
02 | sobra!
03 | as in!
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | laing
02 | nilagang okra
03 | ninihaw na bangus ( fine, im a certified filipino!)
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | to speak chinese, french and spanish fluently and learn the humor of every language
02 | to play the piano and compose beautiful music
03 | web design
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | coke (sorry Jerry!!)
02 | iced tea
03 | hot chocolate ( life during breaktime in the office- filling my spill proof mug w/ hot chocolate fr the vendo)
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | batibot
02 | smurf
03 | carebears
Mar 17, 2004
Mar 14, 2004
Shall I ever get lost?
When I sit on a bench
under a sky like this,
pale gray patches of clouds,
the sun, shying away from everyones gaze,
the green foliage of trees
quivering from the chilly, wintry wind,
I remember you.
For in the cold stormy days
that left me crying like a small helpless child,
trying to find her path back home
you were the one I ran to.
Just to hold my hand or hug me tight
and let me see stars in the darkest of nights
and that the flow'rs in the spring bloom
after the winter's gloom
and that the longest nights of my life do end,
when I place my life, my soul,
and my trust in you my friend.
While I know there is more to ponder about,
my life, relatonships, love
the world I live in,
about me and you,
I just smile to myself.
The world may just be grim on me.
But who cares?
You have set me free,
by your death on the cross.
Shall I ever get lost?
2001
*****
out of breath, that's what i felt upon hearing i got a 100 again in my QA. it was all blurry, kokoy smiling while asking me," how many times already?" i squealed,"five times"! omigod! did i even imagine it? well No. i just wished for one and whoa, i now have five. how lucky could one get? what more can i ask for?
that i mentioned to him that i was feeling frustrated bec im not getting hundreds while others did quite easily, he simply said i can. " i dont know" was my reply to him. pessimism surging, emotions bordering from
"i just wanna kill myself..huhu.. " to "im perfectly fine.." , thoughts of just getting a premier. a whirlwind of sad thoughts and simple wishes. and with kokoys last words on our coaching, "You're gonna get a hundred this Monday", i never thought he'd had a slightest gift of seeing the future. come to think of it, maybe he has the gift afterall. or maybe just maybe, he really believed in me.
When I sit on a bench
under a sky like this,
pale gray patches of clouds,
the sun, shying away from everyones gaze,
the green foliage of trees
quivering from the chilly, wintry wind,
I remember you.
For in the cold stormy days
that left me crying like a small helpless child,
trying to find her path back home
you were the one I ran to.
Just to hold my hand or hug me tight
and let me see stars in the darkest of nights
and that the flow'rs in the spring bloom
after the winter's gloom
and that the longest nights of my life do end,
when I place my life, my soul,
and my trust in you my friend.
While I know there is more to ponder about,
my life, relatonships, love
the world I live in,
about me and you,
I just smile to myself.
The world may just be grim on me.
But who cares?
You have set me free,
by your death on the cross.
Shall I ever get lost?
2001
*****
out of breath, that's what i felt upon hearing i got a 100 again in my QA. it was all blurry, kokoy smiling while asking me," how many times already?" i squealed,"five times"! omigod! did i even imagine it? well No. i just wished for one and whoa, i now have five. how lucky could one get? what more can i ask for?
that i mentioned to him that i was feeling frustrated bec im not getting hundreds while others did quite easily, he simply said i can. " i dont know" was my reply to him. pessimism surging, emotions bordering from
"i just wanna kill myself..huhu.. " to "im perfectly fine.." , thoughts of just getting a premier. a whirlwind of sad thoughts and simple wishes. and with kokoys last words on our coaching, "You're gonna get a hundred this Monday", i never thought he'd had a slightest gift of seeing the future. come to think of it, maybe he has the gift afterall. or maybe just maybe, he really believed in me.
Mar 12, 2004
Mar 11, 2004
an old man knocked on our gate the other day. he was a limping old man, who made use of a long stick as a support when he walked. he wore a dirty long sleeved tshirt, with his grey hair tucked in a cap.a white plastic bag he held on with his other hand. he had an earring, a fake silver one, on his left ear. he looked crabby but the encounter touched me more than anything else. he was not shy. he was greeting me long before i had finally come to face him. it was his birthday he said and he needed to bring something home for his grandchildren. his face was worn maybe because of the heat of day.it was almost noon, and the suns heat was scorching. my eyes were creased as i look at him. i noticed his smiling eyes just like tatangs. that he was asking for rice as a pasalubong to his grandchildren on his birthday melted my heart. i made him wait a little as i got the rice. when i went back, he said " ay, thank you! the rice looks special. i told him it was not, its not even a commercial rice, we got it straight from the rice fields. he said " all that people give are beautiful". i smiled. he added, " you are beautiful. your lips reminds me of ms cruz." i know he was lying just to make me see that he was thankful. and when he said , "you are beautiful because you have a kind heart", i felt happy. he said he had a letter for me to read. i said no its ok. i looked up at the sky and remembered the heat of the sun. he gave the letter anyway. and i read it. it was his 70th birthday and he needed some food to bring home. it was all written in good english. funny how good the old man is in english. the words i wrote here were his exact words. it wasnt used in filipino. i told him he reminds me of tatang my grandfather whos dead for years, with the cap, and his eyes and his speaking in english...he said that he finished second year of high school. so that's why. he greeted me even with "belated condolence"! we both laughed. and then again he said thank you and that i should always take care of myself. he said, "dont put your confidence in the tricycle drivers, you'll never know who to trust. even here. you take care of yourself. God bless you".
i still think about it a lot of times throughout the day. his words, his face.i felt touched with my encounter with him. i dont know why but it made me think of good thoughts like God. and again this will add up to one of my many good thoughts.
i still think about it a lot of times throughout the day. his words, his face.i felt touched with my encounter with him. i dont know why but it made me think of good thoughts like God. and again this will add up to one of my many good thoughts.
Mar 6, 2004
heres a call i got from one crazy brit the other day...
me: welcome to 118-118. how may i help you?
caller:im looking for the number of the moon ( a guy whose voice sounds like hes just 18 or a little older)
me: thats the moon. which town is this in?
caller: oh im not sure..
me: what type of business is this? (quizzical)
caller: well, its an electrical shop..that sort of thing
me: thank you. one moment pls.
me: im trying to do a category search for you, one moment pls.. (caller hums a song while im searching, w/c was so irritating!)
me: i do apologize im not showing anything for that name. is there anything else?
caller: oh, you can try searching in merseyside!
me: what particular town? ( i sounded pissed alright...)
caller: all i know is that its on sunshine street... ( Uh oh, "sunshine street"...Mmmm...)
caller: and its on a ring called saturn..wait i'll ask my colleague..
(after a few sec.. i heard a door closing so clearly that puzzled me..)
caller: yeah that's right..
me: im sorry not showing anything for that.
caller: oh come on! it has got to be there! its approximately a million miles away from the earth!!! ( caller might as well said, "yeah, you stupid girl, its the moon you see! as in the MOON, how couldnt it be there!!")
and still, w/c so much professionalism, i muttered...
me: yeah the moon..alright, you go to hell. ( then what i never thought i'd do, i did. I released the call.)
so is there an excuse for this or what? its crazy enough dealing with racist brits, those who think they are the rulers of the world bec of their skin color and glorius past, well we asians do have a rich history as well dont we? and how about mesopotamia, and persia and india. ofcourse china. hello? attila the HUn would have the run of his life if he meets genghis khan the greatest mogul emperor. the point is there is i enjoyed the call, secretly enjoyed it knowing i won over a dumb person calling in to ask for the number of the moon. ha ha ha!! if my manager know this, im dead. he was actually pleased with me these days bec of my good QA scores. ha ha.. im so happy.
me: welcome to 118-118. how may i help you?
caller:im looking for the number of the moon ( a guy whose voice sounds like hes just 18 or a little older)
me: thats the moon. which town is this in?
caller: oh im not sure..
me: what type of business is this? (quizzical)
caller: well, its an electrical shop..that sort of thing
me: thank you. one moment pls.
me: im trying to do a category search for you, one moment pls.. (caller hums a song while im searching, w/c was so irritating!)
me: i do apologize im not showing anything for that name. is there anything else?
caller: oh, you can try searching in merseyside!
me: what particular town? ( i sounded pissed alright...)
caller: all i know is that its on sunshine street... ( Uh oh, "sunshine street"...Mmmm...)
caller: and its on a ring called saturn..wait i'll ask my colleague..
(after a few sec.. i heard a door closing so clearly that puzzled me..)
caller: yeah that's right..
me: im sorry not showing anything for that.
caller: oh come on! it has got to be there! its approximately a million miles away from the earth!!! ( caller might as well said, "yeah, you stupid girl, its the moon you see! as in the MOON, how couldnt it be there!!")
and still, w/c so much professionalism, i muttered...
me: yeah the moon..alright, you go to hell. ( then what i never thought i'd do, i did. I released the call.)
so is there an excuse for this or what? its crazy enough dealing with racist brits, those who think they are the rulers of the world bec of their skin color and glorius past, well we asians do have a rich history as well dont we? and how about mesopotamia, and persia and india. ofcourse china. hello? attila the HUn would have the run of his life if he meets genghis khan the greatest mogul emperor. the point is there is i enjoyed the call, secretly enjoyed it knowing i won over a dumb person calling in to ask for the number of the moon. ha ha ha!! if my manager know this, im dead. he was actually pleased with me these days bec of my good QA scores. ha ha.. im so happy.
Mar 2, 2004
Mar 1, 2004
that im drunk and still is still blogging is simply way out crazy. just two hours ago i was a sure victim of "once-invited-you-can-never-stop" syndrome. thanks to kathy who at the age of 21 is a certified drunken master who tossed a shot glass to me- a 26 year old loser drinker. roughly about 40 minutes or so after that, i was simply what you call the "just-a-4 shots-of-tecquilla-and then-you're-a-dead-person".
ugh, we were dancing like it's the last dance of our lives. the thing is if being drunk makes you jumble peoples names (mike enriquez for mike santiago to my horror!) , and makes you say foul words for like hundreds of times, ugh, then ... ah.. that makes makes me wanna drink some more!! JOKE! Ugh, i hate that i cant control myself when im drunk! i hate it when i just i know i did some things that i woudnt dare do when im not drunk! the feeling of the whole world swirling in slow motion, each dancemoves like the last scenes from the movie american beauty-lonely, slow, the moment rolls in like leaves falling from its branch during autumn.
and before i sleep i feed my soul with the thought of going to UK. "we shall go to UK". the new brand name we should supposed to live up to beginning today... yes.. london get ready, here we come.
ugh, we were dancing like it's the last dance of our lives. the thing is if being drunk makes you jumble peoples names (mike enriquez for mike santiago to my horror!) , and makes you say foul words for like hundreds of times, ugh, then ... ah.. that makes makes me wanna drink some more!! JOKE! Ugh, i hate that i cant control myself when im drunk! i hate it when i just i know i did some things that i woudnt dare do when im not drunk! the feeling of the whole world swirling in slow motion, each dancemoves like the last scenes from the movie american beauty-lonely, slow, the moment rolls in like leaves falling from its branch during autumn.
and before i sleep i feed my soul with the thought of going to UK. "we shall go to UK". the new brand name we should supposed to live up to beginning today... yes.. london get ready, here we come.
Feb 28, 2004
Feb 25, 2004
ash wednesday
today is ash wednesday.and i have a lot to thank GOD for. i know i am so blessed, not just because of what He gives me but also for what He doesnt. sometimes i wonder why God loves me. it makes me feel awfully guilty yet thankful at the same time. while i unite myself with millions of catholics today, ash wednesday, w/c officially starts the lenten season, i pray that i can be the person God wants me to be and for once make HIm happy.
Feb 21, 2004
i spent the morning just hanging out at home- playing with RV and Migmig, watching some shows on tv. in the afternoon, ate aileen , grace and i went to the mall to finally catch the magic kitchen. and to my dismay, its not showin there anymore. disappointed w/ myself for always postponing my watchin it, i just couldnt believe that id let the whole movie, daos first ever, pass by just like that. ugh. the thought of not being able to support his movie, is such a disgrace to a self-proclaimed "certified-jerry yan-fan". Im not. hu hu hu... im sorry jerry. i am. i felt guilty watchin Milan as a substitute, though, i find the movie quite good. moreso, entertaining. im hoping to catch daos movie tom at Ever. im keeping my fingers crossed.
and if you think that all this watching is finished, well not yet. upon arriving home, i watched a movie again, starring denzel washngton. "John Cue" i think was the title. such a tearjerker. i cried a bucket the whole movie. its about fathers' unconditional love for his son who was about to die from a heart disease. he was willing to offer his heart and die. i swear it was so touching, i felt silly wiping my tears. i just couldnt help it. funny how some movie, those unknown to most people are really the good ones. those w/c will tear your heart and inspire you. "Simon Birch", "Lorenzos Oil", "Shawshank Redemption" and a lot more. not the usual moveis producers would wanna make. apparently they belong to my lists of favorite movies.
and if you think that all this watching is finished, well not yet. upon arriving home, i watched a movie again, starring denzel washngton. "John Cue" i think was the title. such a tearjerker. i cried a bucket the whole movie. its about fathers' unconditional love for his son who was about to die from a heart disease. he was willing to offer his heart and die. i swear it was so touching, i felt silly wiping my tears. i just couldnt help it. funny how some movie, those unknown to most people are really the good ones. those w/c will tear your heart and inspire you. "Simon Birch", "Lorenzos Oil", "Shawshank Redemption" and a lot more. not the usual moveis producers would wanna make. apparently they belong to my lists of favorite movies.
Feb 19, 2004
the day will come when DAO shall miss me
ha ha ha!! Dream on Angie! :p
ofcourse, its the other way around!
I MISS YOU DAO!!
ofcourse, its the other way around!
I MISS YOU DAO!!
Feb 18, 2004
confessions of jy junkies
In onlyjerry@yahoogroups.com, gaga-over-dao wrote:
"hi! wrote this way back and didn't have the courage to let anyone read it. now i feel more confident, stronger knowing that there are people out there like me, just plain gaga over dao :-) so here goes ...
I used to tease my sister who was so into MG and the F4 coz whenever she sees any one of them she screams and giggles and goes into euphoria (well, I’m exaggerating a little… just a little). I didn’t know who they were then and what the show was about, but still I teased her. She was so baduy and jologs, I thought.
Then I got to watch one episode on MG Rewind and I was hooked. Now, there’s collective screaming, giggling and sighing at 11.30 on weekends.
I saw JY and was hooked (pineapple hair and all). Oh, boy, was I hooked. I’ve always been drawn to the "maginoo pero medyo bastos" types and that was what DMS to me at first. I wasn’t content with MG Rewind and so I bought MG 1 and 2.
Who cares that our electric consumption jumped? Who cares that I sleep at 5am, wake up at 7 and go to work at 8? Just as long as I get to see JY/DMS. At this point, DMS and JY, for me, were interchangeable. My fascination hasn’t reach that point where I’d go surfing the net for him.
I didn’t go buy their posters nor plastic envelopes with their pictures on in. I didn’t go buy their playing cards nor their bath towels. But, I was slowly obsessing over JY. I was going over with a fine-toothed comb our newspapers at the office for even the minutest news on F4 esp. JY. I was doing those mini-movies in my mind where the highly improbable happens: I get to meet him in person and have a chance to talk to him and maybe a bouns kiss on the cheek :-)
Then I discovered that when I type "jerry yan" on my yahoo search bay. A plethora of sites open up. Portals all leading to JY are there. All I have to do is click and WHAM! All the details I want to know are there.
Now, I got to know who JY was. What he wants , what his ideals are, etc. I got a glimpse of JY the man. Someone who’s so much a departure from DMS. Now, I wasn’t only hooked. I was drugged.
I searched (still are) the internet for anything Jerry Yan. I enjoy talking about him to friends and family. I just can’t get enough of him. I have a Pepsi Poster, an MK poster and my phone home screen is Jerry Yan. I live and breath JY.
And now it has come full circle, my sister now teases me relentlessly about him. But, I don’t mind. I’m a fan. I’m entitled to be giggly, feel giddy and smile stupidly whenever I pass by his billboards along EDSA. I have the right to watch his debut film as many times as I want to... because i'm a fan.
Because, I'm a Jerry Yan fan and proud of it! :-)?"
what meteor catcher wrote in reaction to gaga- over-dao's confession:
"hi ms gaga-over-dao. : ) i know exactly how you feel. as in!!
I am into dao that i feel that he has become a part of my life.
I work in a call center so i arrive home from work at around 2 in the morning. Afterwhich, ill log into the computer, get the latest news, upload files, pix, videos even etc. I have actually completed downloaded evry song of the f4 into my fone. so when im bored i just lisen to it. Im so happy just passing by edsa knowing that ill be seeing there billboards. thank god for ben chan and pepsi and yamaha..and ofcourse abs cbn who has brought them into the philippines. I couldnt get enough of the f4, most esp dao, so i bought MG1 and MG2, Meteor Rain, went to their concerts almost dying of happiness, bought magazines and read them ofer and over again. ive grown to love his song- yao ding ni and all of their songs for that matter. the difference with me and you is that, I've grown to love dao, eversince they were first shown in the TV. I remember, rushing to get home just to watch it. And when the fone at home rang for me to answer, i wouldnt trade my watching of Meteor garden for anything. he he he. First thing that happened was I got addicted to MG and slowly, I developed a certain admiration for them all. on my part it has always been dao. I have been known as meteor garden fan at the office, i dont care what they think of me. Just like what you said, I'm a Jerry Yan fan and proud of it! :-). I love you dao!! I miss you!! Funny Im going crazy over him..and im even delighted that there are a lot of us who share the same feelings.
So cheers for you and me and the rest who the jerry yan fans!!
And ofcourse to you my beloved DAO, WO AI NI!!"
"hi! wrote this way back and didn't have the courage to let anyone read it. now i feel more confident, stronger knowing that there are people out there like me, just plain gaga over dao :-) so here goes ...
I used to tease my sister who was so into MG and the F4 coz whenever she sees any one of them she screams and giggles and goes into euphoria (well, I’m exaggerating a little… just a little). I didn’t know who they were then and what the show was about, but still I teased her. She was so baduy and jologs, I thought.
Then I got to watch one episode on MG Rewind and I was hooked. Now, there’s collective screaming, giggling and sighing at 11.30 on weekends.
I saw JY and was hooked (pineapple hair and all). Oh, boy, was I hooked. I’ve always been drawn to the "maginoo pero medyo bastos" types and that was what DMS to me at first. I wasn’t content with MG Rewind and so I bought MG 1 and 2.
Who cares that our electric consumption jumped? Who cares that I sleep at 5am, wake up at 7 and go to work at 8? Just as long as I get to see JY/DMS. At this point, DMS and JY, for me, were interchangeable. My fascination hasn’t reach that point where I’d go surfing the net for him.
I didn’t go buy their posters nor plastic envelopes with their pictures on in. I didn’t go buy their playing cards nor their bath towels. But, I was slowly obsessing over JY. I was going over with a fine-toothed comb our newspapers at the office for even the minutest news on F4 esp. JY. I was doing those mini-movies in my mind where the highly improbable happens: I get to meet him in person and have a chance to talk to him and maybe a bouns kiss on the cheek :-)
Then I discovered that when I type "jerry yan" on my yahoo search bay. A plethora of sites open up. Portals all leading to JY are there. All I have to do is click and WHAM! All the details I want to know are there.
Now, I got to know who JY was. What he wants , what his ideals are, etc. I got a glimpse of JY the man. Someone who’s so much a departure from DMS. Now, I wasn’t only hooked. I was drugged.
I searched (still are) the internet for anything Jerry Yan. I enjoy talking about him to friends and family. I just can’t get enough of him. I have a Pepsi Poster, an MK poster and my phone home screen is Jerry Yan. I live and breath JY.
And now it has come full circle, my sister now teases me relentlessly about him. But, I don’t mind. I’m a fan. I’m entitled to be giggly, feel giddy and smile stupidly whenever I pass by his billboards along EDSA. I have the right to watch his debut film as many times as I want to... because i'm a fan.
Because, I'm a Jerry Yan fan and proud of it! :-)?"
what meteor catcher wrote in reaction to gaga- over-dao's confession:
"hi ms gaga-over-dao. : ) i know exactly how you feel. as in!!
I am into dao that i feel that he has become a part of my life.
I work in a call center so i arrive home from work at around 2 in the morning. Afterwhich, ill log into the computer, get the latest news, upload files, pix, videos even etc. I have actually completed downloaded evry song of the f4 into my fone. so when im bored i just lisen to it. Im so happy just passing by edsa knowing that ill be seeing there billboards. thank god for ben chan and pepsi and yamaha..and ofcourse abs cbn who has brought them into the philippines. I couldnt get enough of the f4, most esp dao, so i bought MG1 and MG2, Meteor Rain, went to their concerts almost dying of happiness, bought magazines and read them ofer and over again. ive grown to love his song- yao ding ni and all of their songs for that matter. the difference with me and you is that, I've grown to love dao, eversince they were first shown in the TV. I remember, rushing to get home just to watch it. And when the fone at home rang for me to answer, i wouldnt trade my watching of Meteor garden for anything. he he he. First thing that happened was I got addicted to MG and slowly, I developed a certain admiration for them all. on my part it has always been dao. I have been known as meteor garden fan at the office, i dont care what they think of me. Just like what you said, I'm a Jerry Yan fan and proud of it! :-). I love you dao!! I miss you!! Funny Im going crazy over him..and im even delighted that there are a lot of us who share the same feelings.
So cheers for you and me and the rest who the jerry yan fans!!
And ofcourse to you my beloved DAO, WO AI NI!!"
Feb 15, 2004
Gone Too Soon
There will always be tears in my eyes
when I remember everything about us.
Funny how often I used the word "us",
when it never even happened.
I ask myself why do you have to go away?
You left me holding on to a promised love
magical as the falling stars.
Did you not know that I've fallen in love with you too?
I was going to tell you that
but when I looked at you,
you were gone too soon...
I'd like to blame myself for this broken love
for I didnt let you know of my feelings right away.
Yet somehow, I know I did not let you go-
you let go of me.
Perhaps you did not see
how much I cared for you,
how I've dreamed about you,
how long I've waited for someone
like you to come into my life,
how happy I was when we talked over the phone
with just about anything-
the cottony clouds, the bluish mountains, those mushy love songs,
our loves, our mistakes,
our secret homes and dreams...
You let go of me, when you though Im never going to love you.
But I have loved you and kept it a secret.
I never did mean to fall for you
but I did.
And when I knew the moment has come,
you were gone to soon.
Gone to know of my feelings.
Gone to share it with me.
Gone like the swift falling stars
that has fallen to the earth
and left the sky crying a thousand lonely lights.
Suddenly gone.
You let go of me,
when you shouldn't have.
angie
may 2001
*****
when I remember everything about us.
Funny how often I used the word "us",
when it never even happened.
I ask myself why do you have to go away?
You left me holding on to a promised love
magical as the falling stars.
Did you not know that I've fallen in love with you too?
I was going to tell you that
but when I looked at you,
you were gone too soon...
I'd like to blame myself for this broken love
for I didnt let you know of my feelings right away.
Yet somehow, I know I did not let you go-
you let go of me.
Perhaps you did not see
how much I cared for you,
how I've dreamed about you,
how long I've waited for someone
like you to come into my life,
how happy I was when we talked over the phone
with just about anything-
the cottony clouds, the bluish mountains, those mushy love songs,
our loves, our mistakes,
our secret homes and dreams...
You let go of me, when you though Im never going to love you.
But I have loved you and kept it a secret.
I never did mean to fall for you
but I did.
And when I knew the moment has come,
you were gone to soon.
Gone to know of my feelings.
Gone to share it with me.
Gone like the swift falling stars
that has fallen to the earth
and left the sky crying a thousand lonely lights.
Suddenly gone.
You let go of me,
when you shouldn't have.
angie
may 2001
*****
1-2-3
I have totally lost it. Who am I kidding? Well, I have just, for the first time in my entire life, led a group of 3 friends, myself included, to walk out of a bar. Punchline, we did not pay the bill. AS IN WALKED OUT. I led them into it. I. Me. Myself. Angie. Whew! My heart pounding, hands perspiring, my feet dragging myself out of the bar. Or rather, my insanity dragged my always-sane-me to get out. Fast. Its not even about the money. Omigosh, I have totally lost my wits! My insanity got over the very logical me. That fast and easy. Ha ha ha! When we were quite far already, we didnt even bid goodbye to each other. We just picked a cab and went home. After awhile, when I was inside the taxi, Kathy texted me, "congratulations!" - yeah right, there goes my partner in crime. Well, honestly, she actually gave me the idea. Not that I'm blaming her, coz it was still me who stood up and really did it. 1-2-3 , her name for it. Now, that Im home, blogging this whole thing, theres nothing else i can think about but the word - KARMA! Yep, Ms. goody-two-shoes, B-E-W-A-R-E!!
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