the most unlikely bluff of a lifetime

it may seem like the bluff of a lifetime, but i honestly and absolutely miss taking transfer calls. after a year of whining on how brutal a transfer call can be, its a wonder i didn't end up a loony. we've had every type of transferred call imaginable. there were callers who were bribing us to get ex-directory numbers. and those, who in their anger, will sue the company and contact their solicitor for not finding a listing which according to them, has been there for 50 years! ganun pala katagal, eh bat hindi mo alam pangalan at ang number! sus!! and ofcourse, those proud and arrogant second-class citizens, who wants to talk to a real british supervisor, someone who can perfectly speak and understand english. when a csr, before transferring a call, explains that the caller wants an english supervisor, i automatically turn into bitch mode.

caller: "Ar yu da supervisoor?"

me: "Yes, you've been transferred to a supervisor. How may I help you?"

caller: "Ar yu eeengliish?"

me: "No, are you? (cheery tone) How may I help you today?"

caller: "Wel, I du not want to tok to yu cos i dont tink yu can speak eengliish!"

hello lang?!! sino bang mas english-sounding sa ten?!!

i might forget the prank callers whose cheap thrills include an off-key singing at other end of the line. and worse, callers so horny, it disgusts me to hear them doing, certain things. a big yuck.

when i requested that my name be taken off the list of transfer agents, i knew i was saving myself from jaded moments. while some callers seem pacified when transferred to us, there were a few who wouldn't mind battling, debating and belittling us. vulgar and harsh words slashed at us, we were struggling to live up the true meaning of a runner.

caller: "Whaaat?!!! Don't tell me it's not f****ng there! I
pay you a f****ng fortune!!! blah blah blah

me: "I do apologize but I am not pulling up anything at all for that listing. I could arrange a refund for you though.."

it was an effort to be patient when you are provoked to the highest level. but really, i am such a phony sometimes, i was using sarcasm to get back at them. this i learned from selene who share the woes with me.

caller: "How are you spelling Twickenham anyway?"

me: "Oh, I believe there's only one way of spelling Twickenham!!( in a very fast voice) That's tango-whisky-india- charlie-kilo-echo-november-hotel-alpha-mike."

ha ha. suits them ;) or in another call.

caller: I'm looking for a company called _____, something
like that. I dont have the address all I know is that it's in the
UK.

me: So you're not sure of the name?

caller: Yes, but it's something like that. Sounds like that.

me: Do you know what type of business please?

caller: I'm not sure.

me: ( in very patient, pleasant and helpful tone but through gritted teath) you're not sure of the name, you don't have the address, and you' don't know what type of business it is, how do you suppose we'll find it?"

yeah baby, tell me, how are we supposed to find it?!! hay, sorry anglophiliacs out there, there are still a few things worth loathing about them.

loathing their racist remarks, their unreasonable quirks and impatience, and their vulgar words, i am, suddenly, oddly, missing them. true. i miss the challenge of having them turn around from one irate customer to a very satisfied one. i am missing the the challenge of doing a national, all-over-the-corners-of-the-uk search and finally finding their most precious number. and their absolute joy when we find it- wow! i miss showing them how we filipinos have mastered their country's geography and language even beating them at those most of the time! i miss getting angry with them while keeping myself cool and composed. i am babbling all of these but i sure am meaning everything.

hey, teammates, pinch yourself, coz angie the whiner, has gone mad. she wants it all back! all the bickering, debating and the hard work! give it all back to her! :) four years of saying the same protocol is way, way, way too much sedation.. i am wanting more of the exciting, challenging moments. if it gets any more boring, i'll personally take the hunch, go to my manager and give myself another chance.