June 18, 05

Sometimes, I feel that I have written my life on pages of some manuscript. Well, literally I have. I started writing a diary since I was 13. it was just an ordinary cheap notebook, one that I keep extra in school. After reading and getting inspired by the diary of anne frank, I put it to a good use and began writing a diary of my own. At the center of its first page, I wrote in curling letters the word DIARY. Then began my thoughts journey as a young girl. They all had to be written, oh yes they should! The everyday events-life in school and at home, some poetry I had written and some favorites, songs that I love, quotations of every kind, inspirational words. I also had a slumbook page where I wrote my favorite color, actors, singer, books, tv shows, almost everything you can find in a slum book. I was religiously writing down everything that was happening to my world. It was year after year. It was the thought of when I get older, I would have to take pleasure in reading what my thoughts were when I was in my adolescent years, and that would be wonderful and outrageous. Thats how it should be. And I was looking forward to it. I managed to do that for a few years, until my parents accidentally burned up everything. As in everything.

Two days have passed before I even knew it happened. My father went, your mommy and I cleaned up everything already, no more mosquitoes around the house, nothing more that would cause dengue. To my father, cleaning was defined as burning every piece of junk he considers. I was panicky, ano po nilinis nyo? the next thing I knew I was crying on one corner, remembering the treasures ive lost, reminiscing the times I fixed those little possessions with joy.

It wasnt only the diaries. There were letters, post-it-messages from friends, favorite subjects notebook, and my favorite book too. The lists goes on- articles and clippings, high grade test papers, published articles for our school paper, some school and personal projects, keepsakes like dried roses, corsage, candy wrappers, etc. they were all there, inside that rickety-looking cabinet of mine. I dont know if it was forgivable though. After all these months, I still remember. Its ashes muddled up with the dirt. Sometimes I think a part of me was taken away too. For someone so forgetful, its a whole lot of wealth lost. There are people who can remember most events in their life so vividly. While some unfortunately just cant. And thats me, the unfortunate me.

now i dont use notebooks that much anymore, well not like before. i still have high regards to it though, still buying notebooks from time to time, keeping it inside my fave box where nothing and no one can ever take it away from me again.