Shall I ever get lost?

When I sit on a bench
under a sky like this,
pale gray patches of clouds,
the sun, shying away from everyones gaze,
the green foliage of trees
quivering from the chilly, wintry wind,
I remember you.
For in the cold stormy days
that left me crying like a small helpless child,
trying to find her path back home
you were the one I ran to.
Just to hold my hand or hug me tight
and let me see stars in the darkest of nights
and that the flow'rs in the spring bloom
after the winter's gloom
and that the longest nights of my life do end,
when I place my life, my soul,
and my trust in you my friend.

While I know there is more to ponder about,
my life, relatonships, love
the world I live in,
about me and you,
I just smile to myself.
The world may just be grim on me.
But who cares?
You have set me free,
by your death on the cross.
Shall I ever get lost?

2001

*****

out of breath, that's what i felt upon hearing i got a 100 again in my QA. it was all blurry, kokoy smiling while asking me," how many times already?" i squealed,"five times"! omigod! did i even imagine it? well No. i just wished for one and whoa, i now have five. how lucky could one get? what more can i ask for?

that i mentioned to him that i was feeling frustrated bec im not getting hundreds while others did quite easily, he simply said i can. " i dont know" was my reply to him. pessimism surging, emotions bordering from
"i just wanna kill myself..huhu.. " to "im perfectly fine.." , thoughts of just getting a premier. a whirlwind of sad thoughts and simple wishes. and with kokoys last words on our coaching, "You're gonna get a hundred this Monday", i never thought he'd had a slightest gift of seeing the future. come to think of it, maybe he has the gift afterall. or maybe just maybe, he really believed in me.